Transcript Jane Schaeffer Writing Program

Writing an Effective
Response to
Literature
Essay
Jane Schaffer Writing Program
Writing Process Steps
1. Pre-Writing
2. Shaping the Essay
A. Intro paragraphs
B.
Body paragraphs
C.
Conclusion paragraphs
3. First Draft
4. Peer Response
5. Revision
6. Final Draft
Writing Process Steps
1. Pre-Write
Pre-writing – the process of getting
Concrete Details (facts)on paper
before organizing paragraphs.
Brainstorming: Listing,
Graphic Organizers, Etc.
Outlining: Creating ORDER;
Organizing logically…
Brainstorm Example
Should kids be
allowed to
leave campus
for lunch?
Yes
-freedom
-responsibility
-privilege
-stimulate local
economy
No
-not enough time
-unnecessary
-not everyone has
cars
-dangerous
The Jane Schaffer Way…
Shaping Your Essay in color…
Get Ready to Color Your World!
• Materials: When we write, we will use
blue, red, and green pens.
–BLUE is for Topic Sentences (TS)
and Concluding Sentences (CS).
–RED is for Concrete Details (CD).
–GREEN is for Commentary Sentences
(CM).
Shaping the Essay- terms to know
One-Chunk Body Paragraph
• Sent. #1 -Topic Sentence – TS
• Sent. #2 – CD –starts with “For example”
• Sent. #3 – CM - (This shows that…)
• Sent. #4 – CM – (It also indicates…; This is
because…; This is important because…)
• Sent, #5 – Concluding Sentence – CS – Sums it
up and ties back to the thesis (As a result,…)
Shaping the Essay- Paragraph
A Topic Sentence
• TS = first sentence of the paragraph.
•It shows the main idea.
•Usually a mildly controversial statement.
•something that you have to prove.
•Also called an assertion
•It can be as brief as 3 words!
TS Example
In the fairy tale “Cinderella,” the main
character feels mistreated.
Shaping the Essay- Paragraph
• Concrete Detail (CD)
– This is the evidence from the literature
– The WHAT for your commentary!
– Plot References
• facts, examples from story (what happened), support
– Include citations (with page numbers)
CDs can’t be argued with—a CD is evidence that
supports your point!
CD Example
• For example, Cinderella must do all of the
cooking and cleaning for her family.
Shaping the Essay- Paragraph
• Commentary – (CM)
– This is the stuff from inside your head!
– This is the answer to “so what?”
– Your words and explanations.
– May be referred to as:
analysis; interpreting; inference; insight;
reasons; commentary, elaboration
Example Commentary Sentences
(2 CMs)
• These chores keep her isolated and friendless.
The stepmother is thus able to give Cinderella
even more work, which prevents her from
going to the ball.
Shaping the Essay- Paragraph
CONCLUDING SENTENCE
A CS wraps up the paragraph.
 It rephrases the main idea.
Example Concluding Sentence (CS)
Therefore, Cinderella feels abused by the very
people who are supposed to love her.
TS, CD, CM, CS—Now What?
• CHUNKING
• A combination of CDs and CMs
is called a “chunk.”
• In English, we will mostly use a
combination (or “ratio”) of 1:2.
• That is, for every 1 CD, you will have
2 CMs.
One Chunk: 1 CD + 2 CM
For example, Cinderella must do all
of the cooking and cleaning for her
family (CD). These chores keep her
isolated and friendless(CM). The
stepmother is thus able to give
Cinderella even more work, which
prevents her from going to the
ball(CM).
Ratio = 1:2
Let’s Review…
One-Chunk Body Paragraph
• Sent. #1 -Topic Sentence – TS
• Sent. #2 – CD –starts with “For example”
• Sent. #3 – CM - (This shows that…)
• Sent. #4 – CM – (It also indicates…OR …This is
because…OR… This is important because…)
• Sent. #5 – Concluding Sentence – CS – Sums it
up and ties back to the thesis (As a result,…)
Your Turn…
• Turn your paper over
• Underline each sentence in
Example #1 with it’s
corresponding color…
A Whole Paragraph
TS
CM
X
2
In the fairy tale “Cinderella,” the main
character feels mistreated. For example,
Cinderella must do all of the cooking and CD
cleaning for her family. These chores keep
her isolated and friendless. The stepmother
is thus able to give Cinderella even more
work, which prevents her from going to the
ball. Therefore, Cinderella feels abused by
the very people who are supposed to love
her.
CS
A Visual
A Topic Sentence (TS) is the top bun of a hamburger.
Concrete Details (CD) are the meat of the hamburger.
Commentary Sentences (CM) are the “extras” on
the hamburger—the tomato, cheese, lettuce,
mayo—they make it delicious!
A concluding sentence (CS) is the bottom bun of the
hamburger.
Shaping the Essay- Your Turn
• Turn your paper over and read the 1 chunk
paragraph on The Three Little Pigs
– Example # 2
• Using your colors, underline/highlight each
element of the paragraph
• Identify (write)each element of the chunk
paragraph like we did with Cinderella
The Three Little Pigs
In the fairy tale “The Three Little Pigs,”
the third pig is very wise. For example,
remembering his mother’s warning about a
wolf, he builds his house out of sturdy brick.
The wolf is unable to blow down the brick
house. This shows that the third pig is
smarter than his brothers, who were both
eaten by the wolf. In conclusion, the third pig
outsmarts not only his brothers but the “big,
bad” wolf as well.
Blowing Chunks
Chunk Quiz
1. Using your colors, underline/highlight each
element of the paragraph
2. Identify each element of the paragraph like
we did with Cinderella and Three Little Pigs
Shaping the Essay-QUIZ
• In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Harry is
a champion to many of the more insecure
students at Hogwarts. For example, when Malfoy
takes Neville’s Rememberall, Harry gets on a
broom and gets it back. He simply cannot stand
someone who picks on others. Because of this,
Harry becomes a hero to those less fortunate. In
other words, he has found a place where he
belongs, and he becomes determined to protect
the vulnerable people he has grown fond of.
Shaping the Essay-QUIZ
• In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Harry is
a champion to many of the more insecure
students at Hogwarts(TS). For example, when
Malfoy takes Neville’s Rememberall, Harry gets
on a broom and gets it back(CD). He simply
cannot stand someone who picks on others(CM).
Because of this, Harry becomes a hero to those
less fortunate(CM). In other words, he has found
a place where he belongs, and he becomes
determined to protect the vulnerable people he
has grown fond of(CS).
Shaping the Essay- Your Turn
• More complex points need more support.
• Topic Sentence still at the beginning and a
Concluding Sentence still at the end.
• Includes two chunks with a transition
between them that connect the chunks.
TS + (cd, cm, cm) + Transition+ (cd, cm,
cm) + CS
Shaping the Essay- Your Turn
• Now read the paragraph on Las Vegas
• Using your colors, underline/highlight each
element of the paragraph
• Identify each element of the paragraph like we
did with Cinderella and 3 Pigs
Las Vegas
• Las Vegas is the most surreal city anywhere in the world. For
instance, the center of the city is full of different kinds of buildings
including a two-thirds scale Eiffel Tower, a giant black glass pyramid,
a scaled-down replica of the New York skyline, and a faux Medieval
castle. The whole place reminds me of a big amusement park like
Disneyland with its different “lands.”It’s as if each building was
constructed in isolation without any consideration of the other
buildings. In addition, this center is surrounded by a sprawl of
suburbs housing close to two million people and stretching out into
the desert. I always wonder what made so many people want to
live in such an inhospitable place. All those people and houses
almost seem as if they traveled across the wasteland and gathered
to pay homage to the weird buildings in the center. Las Vegas is
such a strange city, it is hard to believe it actually exists unless you
actually go there and experience it for yourself.
Las Vegas
(T)Las Vegas is the most surreal city anywhere in the world.
(CD)For instance, the center of the city is full of different kinds of
buildings including a two-thirds scale Eiffel Tower, a giant black
glass pyramid, a scaled-down replica of the New York skyline,
and a faux Medieval castle. (CM)The whole place reminds me of
a big amusement park like Disneyland with its different
“lands.”(CM)It’s as if each building was constructed in isolation
without any consideration of the other buildings. (CD)In
addition, this center is surrounded by a sprawl of suburbs
housing close to two million people and stretching out into the
desert. (CM)I always wonder what made so many people want
to live in such an inhospitable place.(CM)All those people and
houses almost seem as if they traveled across the wasteland and
gathered to pay homage to the weird buildings in the
center.(CS)Las Vegas is such a strange city, it is hard to believe it
actually exists unless you actually go there and experience it for
yourself.
Three layers
For an eleven-sentence paragraph, you
have three chunks:
•
Topic sentence
• CD = Support (hamburger patty)
– CM = Expansion (lettuce)
– CM = Expansion (tomato)
• CD = Support (hamburger patty)
– CM = Expansion (cheese)
– CM = Expansion (pickles)
• CD = Support (hamburger patty)
– CM = Expansion (special sauce)
– CM = Expansion (catsup)
 Concluding sentence
Transitions
• A good paragraph will also use transition
words. These are words or phrases that help
readers connect ideas.
• Example transitions:
For example,
For instance,
Consequently,
Thus,
In summary,
Because of this,
As a result,
Hence,
Therefore,
Blowing Chunks Quiz # 2
Jane Schaffer Paragraph Quiz #2
• Directions: color code and label each of these sentences according
to the Jane Schaffer paragraph format.
• In the poem “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” the main
character feels self-conscious in a world that seems to move too
fast for him. At the beginning of the poem, Prufrock invites the
reader to follow along with him, but twice during his introduction of
his topic, he is interrupted by women who “come and go/ Talking of
Michaelangelo” (658-9). These anonymous women interrupt
Prufrock, distracting him from his point, even though what they are
discussing has no relationship to what he is attempting to say. They
pass him by, while he attempts to reorganize his thoughts by
changing the subject, and thus continually playing catch-up to the
world around him. Prufrock’s inability to fully communicate his
ideas makes him feel isolated and ineffective in a world that seems
disconnected from him.
Blowing Chunks Quiz # 2
• In the poem “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” the
main character feels self-conscious in a world that seems
to move too fast for him. At the beginning of the poem,
Prufrock invites the reader to follow along with him, but
twice during his introduction of his topic, he is
interrupted by women who “come and go/ Talking of
Michaelangelo” (658-9). These anonymous women
interrupt Prufrock, distracting him from his point, even
though what they are discussing has no relationship to
what he is attempting to say. They pass him by, while he
attempts to reorganize his thoughts by changing the
subject, and thus continually playing catch-up to the
world around him. Prufrock’s inability to fully
communicate his ideas makes him feel isolated and
ineffective in a world that seems disconnected from him.
Blowing Chunks Quiz # 3
Directions:
• Using your colors, underline/highlight each
element of the Schaffer paragraph
• Identify each element of the paragraph like we
did with Cinderella, old 3 Pigs and Vegas
Blowing Chunks Quiz # 3
New Piggy
•
In the fairy tale “The Three Little Pigs,” the third pig has the
traits that help him succeed. For example, he is wise and
builds his house out of sturdy brick. The wolf is unable to blow
down the brick house. This shows that the third pig is smarter
than his brothers, who were both eaten by the wolf.
Additionally, he is a hard worker. Although it is much easier to
build a house out of straw, he chooses the material that will
hold up. Even though laying bricks is time-consuming, he
knows it is the better choice. This oldest pig also learns his
lessons. He remembers his mother taught him that predators
seek out little pigs. Knowing a wolf-attack is likely, he plans
out his home construction to prevent tragedy. In conclusion,
the third pig’s nature enables him to outsmart not only his
brothers, but the “big, bad” wolf as well.
Blowing Chunks Quiz # 3
New Piggy
• (TS) In the fairy tale “The Three Little Pigs,” the third pig has the
traits that help him succeed. For example, he is wise and builds
his house out of sturdy brick(CD). The wolf is unable to blow
down the brick house(CM). This shows that the third pig is
smarter than his brothers, who were both eaten by the
wolf(CM). Additionally, he is a hard worker(CD). Although it is
much easier to build a house out of straw, he chooses the
material that will hold up(CM). Even though laying bricks is
time-consuming, he knows it is the better choice(CM). This
oldest pig also learns his lessons(CD). He remembers his
mother taught him that predators seek out little pigs(CM).
Knowing a wolf-attack is likely, he plans out his home
construction to prevent tragedy(CM). In conclusion, the third
pig’s nature enables him to outsmart not only his brothers, but
the “big, bad” wolf as well(CS).